This could also be a hygiene part 3. Basically as long as you don’t mind being a little bit grungy just don’t clip your toenails for like a month. I mean if you paint them they don’t look too bad. When you are with him just chilling on a couch and he starts to make a move just pretend to be a velociraptor and try to claw him with your toes. Add sounds effects and try to really dig deep into his leg. For full effect.
If a guy does this he will probably get arrested but I mean us (girls) different rules apply. 1st step is to carry around a sugar packet to every place you go, either bar or house. So basically there you are, just chilling and drinking your drank when a guy just keeps on bothering. This is when you:
Say hey is that so and so, or mention someone name and point to someone/something and get his attention over there.
Make sure he has an open container/cup in arms length.
Take out the sugar packet as he is looking elsewhere and start pouring it into his drink.
Make sure he catches you putting “something” in his drink and when he looks at you weird and confused.
Say, “Oh you’re not into that, awkward, I’ll just take your drink.”
In summary, it will appear as though you are roofie-ing his drink, he will then leave you alone and you will get a free drink out of it!
Be attractive! One way to be the most attractive…. is to have double chins, maybe even make it like 7 chins if you wanna get creative. The more chins, the merrier. Guys won’t be able to resist.
So all guys have their pick up lines that they use on women to try and get them to take the bait and shit. Well here’s a good pick up line to use on them:
Can you do me a huge favor? And sit on my face?
Most likely they won’t know what to say back.
One of the best things to get a guy off your ass is to creep him out. What better way to creep him out then by just staring intensely at him, with a slight grin. Even when he makes eye contact with you, just keep staring back at him. If someone is staring at you for awhile it just gets weird and creepy. Perfect way to ward them off.
So go to the grocery store and purchase some laxatives. Then proceed to put some in your purse so you can bring them out. If a guy is being fucking weird as a mothafucka, secretly put some laxatives in his drink. In a bit he should start feeling a little loose down there. He should be off to the bathroom shortly after.
IF! You do not realize how fucking weird this mothafucka is until you get to his house or he gets to yours, simply suck it up and still put laxatives in his drink, there may be a mess but, whatever!
If that certain someone buys a bag of jolly ranchers, let’s say at the movies and you guys are just eating them watching the movie. Discreetly start picking out all the purple jolly rangers one by one, also if he goes to eat one snatch it from his grasp and put it in your satchel. When he finally asks what you’re doing say the following:
yooo i’m loookin’ to lllleeeeaaaaannnnn.
if you ain’t sipping’ on the sizzurp then yo ain’t a playa
Follow up by asking him if he has any codeine so that you could make dirty sprite.
Let’s say you don’t realize how weird this motha fucker is until you agree to go to dinner with him, simple solution use these simple guidelines to weird him out at the dinner table.
- blow your nose
- somehow get pudding or jelly on your face and ask him to lick it off
- be overly loud and obnoxious
- tell him to look over there and pretend to rouffie his drink until he looks back at the table
- go to the bathroom for 15 minutes and then explain him about the huge shit you took
- only speak in melody
So you know how eating beans makes you gassy. Well pretty sure no one is attracted to people who are gassy/fart. Not saying you actually have to fart cause you may shart but talk about farting or say somethingalong the lines of:
- oh shit, I ate so many beans today, ugh I’m going to be so gassy
Another thing that may ward him off besides just being gassy is letting it come out the other end, as in huge, loud burps. I mean why not?
One of the most annoying things is when someone has a stuffy nose and they just keep sniffling. It’s like please get a tissue and blow it! But if you want to ward off the men then just keep sniffling and do not get a tissue. Maybe wipe your nose on your sweatshirt multiple times. Its annoying and nasty, perfect! Another thing you may want to add is excessive clearing of the throat, like constantly!